currents change

currency inflates

the deepest-rooted tree sways

colors fade

the most beautiful tulip loses its spring

and the eyes inevitably lose their glisten.

the tide retreats

the mind forgets

all of this

yes, all of it

is love’s way

of inviting us deeper

what if….

what if you say yes?

the orange sky sighs

in concern for my safety

ha! you and me both

where did I find it!?

it’s funny that you should ask.

I asked the dancing flower

who heard it from the dancing grass

if I'm busy protecting you

then I don't have to be me

art is beautiful

the trauma and the treatment

are finally friends

for I am all this

because this created me

and I create this

I made a lot of friends today, they live in the grass.

last time I was here

the wildflowers were in full bloom

chest tall and shoulders back, favoring the sun

having their moment

unashamed, rightfully so

a gentle reminder it's not about me.

I made a lot of friends today, they live in the grass.

I met a small frog as she passed

she stopped for a moment

I said hello

she carried on her way.

I made a lot of friends today, they live in the grass.

I met many butterflies

are they related?

what beautiful colors they have.

their flight pattern seems a bit erratic

they must get tired

they stop for breaks in the grass.

I made a lot of friends today, they live in the grass.

crickets and fiddling crawlers

strawberries and little moths

I'm not sure what to do, I'm supposed to mow this grass

it seems inhumane

maybe I'll mow a little less?

maybe I'll invent a warning system that alerts my friends?

maybe I'm a looney tune?

I prefer the word unique.

me and my friends are unique

we live in the grass.

you don't get it, do you?

that's not how this works

it's like a curse

a cadence and a rhyme designed to make the blind

see through the images that appear

from vibration between the ears

get it now?

it's not on demand

it takes a shaky hand pretending to be stable

when underwater laughter

is mistaken for the need to breath

and the image in the mirror

is mistaken for identity

a pale moon comfortably splayed

air so lush and crisp and clear

I reach and try to take a bite.

leaves crumple under my feet

and my toes get cold

before I notice them dancing in the dew.

the cabin's light glistens in the distance

the smoke dances over the flame

to a beat we've all heard.

familiar, isn't it?

purple sky

you destroy the construct of my mind

purple sky

how have I been so blind to this

purple sky

have I lost my mind to this

purple sky

purple sky

you make the living come alive

purple sky

what have you left behind

purple sky

have you ever been so sad you couldn't cry?

so down that out

would be the only way into feeling better.

have you ever been so sad

so sad that no energy felt so good

and feeling so good couldn't feel any worse.

every minute that goes by is a minute closer to death

minutes take too long when I feel like this

every second that goes by is a second closer to death

that just made me feel better

just for a second.

where the old wind blows that's where my mind goes

chuckling and jiving are the trees

the tall grass sways as the animals graze

nothing here begs to be seen.

it's little old me and my dear friend the tree

together

blowing in the wind.

look! two shooting stars!

two thirty in the morning

those two were for me.

really!? sun halo?!

two thirty afternoon time

that was just for me.

a beautiful song

sung by the river and birds

that to, just for me.

a beautiful dance

by the waking grass today

this fine day, all mine.

spun cotton candy

blue and white, what's it taste like?

prepared by the sky.

all this just for me

all this just for me to see

I feel so special.

summer in Vermont

my soul enlightened by you

summer in Vermont.

look for your face in a flower

and then you'll see

how I see myself looking back at me

when I look for my face in a flower.

am I crazy?

maybe

but I'm the one looking at a flower

who could be having a better day than me?

so do me that favor

please do it for me

look for your face in a flower

then you'll see.

“til death do us part”

only if you do your part

true love is a choice

today, we celebrate small steps

with confetti fingers and jazz hands

we celebrate

with unpredictable feet.

yes, I've been busy

weaving

and though I'm not bulletproof

I dare you to try and shoot.

until the day the rainbow rains

I'll stare up at the sky

is the sky just an ocean

we are destined to swim in?

are the mountains just step stools

placed precariously for you and me

to see the world upside down?

do memories fall from the ocean above?

when the raindrops cry

and their tears land gently on my tongue

so gently

that they create no splash nor sound

can you hear my insides smile?

want to find yourself?

spend time with only yourself

and do nothing else

before I forget to tell you

did you know that flowers

are just old friends

dying, to say hello?

I'm falling in love

with the bite in the air

the crispness coinciding with the crises

we live our lives within.

falling in love with the waves

shared by the tall grass

dare I take a swim?

in love with the vision the vision

of my toes crunching

rather than collapsing with the sand

I'm falling in love with falling in love

and am excited to catch the leaf

falling like molasses.

i am the birch tree

shedding and finally letting

my true colors show

I rejoice!

I am alive!

just to sing a solo to the passing cloud

"bravo! bravo!"

yes, even the spider is in awe.

ask for help

listen to silence

listen to sounds

not for answers

I am not these thoughts that cascade in my mind

I am the eternal

ethereal

evolution

redefined

it’s not self-improvement

self-improvement means I'll keep fighting

and sprint until I run

run until I walk until I crawl

crawl until I lay until I decay

and if I'm found, I'll say

"leave me here, I'm fine."

selflessness is selfish

because in those moments

intentions are not with

everyone involved.

acceptance and self-exploration

is the way

the question is

can I be with all

internally and externally

with love?

for then I will know peace.

I’m either way too high

or completely grounded

one thing is certain

I'm dumbfounded

by the sound of the black crow's wings

disturbing so much air

balance lost touch with my feet

and the apples fall and hit the ground

like their stems were still reaching

teaching

that even letting go

is a doing

I am weightless

yet a heavy presence

it is cold here

yet only snowing in the distance

a throne fit for a king

the mountain's valley is glistening

listening closely

excited for Your Majesty's arrival

though I never left

it's incredible how many words we say in a day

just giving energy away

get situated

get uncomfortable

look for support

find support

relax. repeat.

get situated

get uncomfortable

look for support

find none

freak out a bit

pretend your fine.

get situated

get uncomfortable

look for support

find none

break down

freak the f*** out

surrender

be uncomfortable

panic

while surrendered

relax. repeat.

there is no right way

no right way to recover

don't be afraid to recover

allow yourself to fail

allow yourself the opportunity to be embarrassed

feel the shame of letting someone down

build up the courage to go against the grain

and run your fingers over the guilt which arises

when one follows their way

don't fight

face

this, too, is love

eyes so full of stars

I'm concerned for their safety

to think I'm one of them.

the moon's reflection on my heart

in the same place she left her mark

to think

I'm this blessed.

as quickly as it comes

it goes

as soon as you know

you don't

I grieve for those who weren't this lucky

and smile because I know

I'm only a moment away from not being okay

and that moment doesn't yet exist.